Esther Freud: ‘I wrote these books. I threw the bomb’

Photography by Karen Robinson for the Observer 

Novelist Esther Freud has often drawn inspiration from her bohemian background, beginning with her acclaimed debut, Hideous Kinky. Now, 33 years later, she’s written a sequel in which narrator Lucy and big sister Bea – the two small girls whose capricious, gutsy solo mother took them to live in Morocco – are back in England and edging into adolescence and beyond. My Sister and Other Lovers is Freud’s 10th novel, and it follows its three female leads over several decades, mapping secrets, desire, and the lasting impact of a contested memory of childhood trauma.

How did you come to write this novel?

It chose me. For the first time since I started writing, I didn’t have an idea. It was horrible. I’d written some short stories but they weren’t fitting into a satisfying collection. Reading them, I realised they were about sisters and love, and as soon as I thought “my sister and other lovers”, I knew I had my novel. What I wish I’d done then was start again, because it was like trying to renovate a house that is listed.

At what point did you realise you were writing a sequel to Hideous Kinky?

Quite late on. In the first story I wrote, the sister was called Bea, but I changed that and the narrator had all sorts of flowery names. My sister Bella, who is an extremely good reader, said come on, go for it, call them Lucy and Bea. So I thought, yeah, just own it as a sequel.

Does it draw as much on your own life story as its predecessor?

It’s probably my most autobiographical work yet. I wanted to write about how hard it is for somebody when the two people they most love don’t get along. There’s always a reason, and I wanted to look at these difficult, shame-ridden secrets that are embedded in almost every family. I’m using the framework of my own family, then going off into territory that fiction is so brilliant at examining. There is an artistry in making a story out of your own raw material and I think that’s something people are starting to have more respect for.

Would you ever write a memoir?

In fiction, I can get the voice of a character quite easily, but as my own person, I’m never sure exactly how to find it.

As adults, Lucy and Bea tell the story of their Moroccan adventure to a journalist, and their mother feels judged. How has your work landed with your family?

That episode is drawn from experience, and it was extraordinarily painful. I think it would be different today, but Hideous Kinky came out in 1992, and reviewers were so quick to cast aspersions on the mother character – feckless, hopeless! My mother, who was very supportive of the novel, was so rocked and shocked, and I was devastated that – as the result of something I’d done – she was so upset. It took us a year or two to get back on to even ground.

Lucy is very much the conciliator between her fiery sister and mother. Was that also your role growing up?

That’s how I have always placed myself. I’ve always been able, even in the instant, to see about three or four different sides [of an argument], which makes it almost impossible to know what to say or to ever be angry. But then of course I’m the one who threw the bomb, I wrote these books.

The “other lovers” of the title provide ample emotional momentum but they’re not, ultimately, where Lucy’s happiness lies.

Her family foundation is so powerful. Maybe if you grow up in a family that is less confusing and chaotic and interesting, it doesn’t hold you as much. I rebelled by being very conventional compared to my parents and was, amazingly, married for 27 years, but even though what I most wanted was for it to work, I was always thinking of the possibility of escape.

As readers, we talk about the ways in which books change us. Are you changed as a writer by your own work?

Some of the time I’m examining parts of my own story so I understand things that I didn’t understand before. I’ll just put something down on the page and see what’s underneath it.

Was that the case with this book?

There’s a rigidity to Lucy’s determination to persevere with her vision of the world that I’m sure I share to some extent. Quite near the end, I have her apologising to Bea for trying to cheer her up her whole life. If you asked Bella what is most irritating about me, she might well say that I’m always trying to show her that the sun’s shining.

Has your father, the painter Lucian Freud, been an influence on your work?

My father’s creativity was incredibly influential because he showed you how very satisfying it was. He worked so hard, and when he finished work, he was so happy and you’d go for lunch. That’s what I like to do, a long morning’s work and if it’s gone well, I’m happy.

When did you become aware of wanting to be a writer?

I wrote a little book which I hand-illustrated, bound, and gave to my mother when I was about 11. She didn’t seem very impressed by it and I remember thinking, ‘Too lonely a profession!” – literally that phrase. I was obviously rather dramatic and went to drama school but I basically did want to tell stories.

What are you working on now?

I’m writing a chapter book for children. It’s about two sisters and it’s such fun! Plot is not so much of a preoccupation for me, it comes out of the characters and the psychological drama, but children really like plot. The sisters can fly, and the minute I get stuck, they just fly to the Great Barrier Reef and talk to a turtle.

Have any books from childhood stuck with you?

I didn’t learn to read until I was 10. Rather eccentrically – and I’m sure this is why I struggled for so long – our reading manual was an old Irish fable called The King of Ireland’s Son. It’s the hero’s journey, but what it really tells you is to just keep going, and I found that very reassuring.

When it comes to summer reading, do you crave escapism or something more ambitious?

I want something that I would never normally have time to read. I went to Australia recently and read Couples by John Updike. I was absolutely staggered by it. I learned so much.

What have you read lately that you’d press on others?

I particularly loved Elif Shafak’s There Are Rivers in the Sky. What an incredible book. It tells us so much about history, politics and what’s happening now with such a generosity of spirit.

My Sister and Other Lovers by Esther Freud is published by Bloomsbury (£18.99). Order a copy from from observershop.co.uk for a 10% discount. Delivery charges may apply