This much I know: Vanessa Feltz, broadcaster, 63

My dad was a fantastic weaver of anecdotes. As an insignificant sprog, he talked to me as if I were a grown-up. Business worries; TS Eliot; being unjustly expelled from school… all told brilliantly.

Broadcast as if speaking to a dear, learned friend. Listeners appreciate being respected. It would never occur to me to water down what I say.

Sex is still important to me. I’ve never lost that enthusiasm. I like the same things I always have. You don’t wake up one day and think: I never want to eat spag bol again.

As a teenager I’d dress like Titania for my orthodontist appointments, and wear a ball gown to Hebrew class. I’ve always enjoyed the theatricality of fashion. Now, I like to get dressed for the Met Gala, even though I’ve never been invited.

My temerity to start puberty at an early age horrified my parents. I was much less of a pleasure to them than the baby I’d once been. I had no intention of making my two daughters feel like that.

Each of my young grandchildren is a raving beauty and a world-class genius, obviously. They lead the examined life: pondering mortality; considering futility; exhausted by angst and existential doubt.

Be an expert in something first, if you want to be a broadcaster. It’s terribly difficult if your ambition is to present. If you’re a farmer, doctor or archaeologist, you can make a living, then segue in.

Journalistic rigour has almost entirely evaporated. The clodhopping, pedestrian use of language is terribly saddening. Our job is communication, why choose any old thing to say?

I didn’t have a smartphone until the pandemic. When I got one I typed in “porn”, but I don’t like to watch people shagging with no story. I like it when a guy comes to mend the carburettor.

Never go on holiday. If you do, someone else will take your place. I’m working seven days a week at the moment. A single day off? Forget it.

It’s imbecilic to worry about your legacy. No one really gives a damn. Your great-grandchildren won’t remember you, your grandchildren will barely remember you and your children will be pleased to forget you. Don’t waste one second thinking about it.

Vanessa is on LBC, Saturdays and Sundays from 3pm, and weekdays on Channel Five from 12.30pm

Photograph by Sophia Spring