December is a time for gimmicks. Novelty pop songs, hideous jumpers, bizarre Christmas-themed food. Anyone for a sprout and cranberry Yule log? It also throws up odd creative twists in sport, three of which can be watched this week.
We start with the Ultimate Tennis Showdown, which concludes on Sunday at the Copper Box Arena (Sky Sports Tennis, 2.15pm). This version has “fast and furious rules to boost the intensity” with each match over four quarters of eight minutes in which a point counts as one point, rather than the perfectly rational 15-30-40. Players get one serve and a bonus card for “gamification” in which the next point counts treble. I can’t see it catching on at Wimbledon.
Alex De Minaur, the world No 7, is the highest ranked player of the eight involved, and Andrey Rublev and Casper Ruud are also big names, but the promoters had perhaps hit the eggnog when they excitedly wrote that everyone has been a top-20 player. Technically true, but Adrian Mannarino, aged 37, is the world No 69 and David Goffin, who peaked at No 7 as recently as 2017, is now down at No 119.
There is also a bit of padding for the World Champions Cup in golf, featuring eight-man teams of players aged over 50, representing the United States, Europe and International. Jason Caron, Mark Hensby and Steven Alker will send most off to Google to find out who they are. On the first two days they played six-balls and “Scotch sixsomes”, where everyone drives and then plays alternate shots with the team’s better ball. On Sunday we get nine-hole, three-man singles (Sky Sports Golf, 9.30pm), with the winner of each hole getting two points and the second one.
Snooker gets its own nonsense with the Shoot Out in Blackpool. Each match consists of one frame lasting 10 minutes, with a reducing shot clock and the requirement either to pot a ball or hit a cushion with every shot. Oddly, this counts as a ranking tournament, though last year’s final between Tom Ford and Liam Graham, which Ford won by 31 points to 28, shows that the top players aren’t fussed. (Starts next Wednesday, TNT Sports 1, 1pm).
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All of which makes the World Darts Championship look sensible. Like schmaltzy John Lewis adverts and Noddy Holder wailing, it wouldn’t be Christmas without the fat men in garish shirts flinging arrers in front of a lagered-up Ally Pally crowd. It is gloriously silly – far more fun than panto – but the accuracy of the elite players is astounding amid all the hoo-ha. It all gets under way next Thursday with Luke Littler, the defending champion, third on the oche against Lithuania’s Darius Labanauskas (Sky Sports Main Event, 7pm).
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