Oasis tour shocker: no fights, no chaos. Critics, stop looking back in anger

Hasn’t it gone well? All those sold-out shows and euphoric crowds. Noel has said Liam is “smashing it”. So much for the predictions of the Gallaghers erupting in fratricide. All is mellow in the Oasis camp, and we’re all thrilled for them… aren’t we?

Could it be that some are disappointed the tour hasn’t imploded? Back when the reunion was announced, the class-based vitriol aimed at the band was grimly fascinating: they were blamed for everything from the degradation of culture to the collapse of Western civilisation. Shamefully – tellingly – the fans were attacked too: stereotyped as boorish hoolis dusting off their Kangol bucket hats for one last knuckle-dragging yahoo.

One sensed that those who disapproved of Oasis were looking forward to the tour exploding. Instead, the reputed £50m-apiece payday proved quite the incentive for the Gallaghers. Nor, as 50somethings, are they the lairy hellraisers of yore. Unlike some of their detractors, it appears Oasis were able to move on.

One hears of an intriguing documentary, Mistress Dispeller. Made by Elizabeth Lo, it explores a modern China riven with relationship breakdown. Mistress Dispellers are professionals, hired to oust “intruders”.

In the film, the Mistress Dispeller counsels the wife, the unfaithful husband and his mistress to convince the latter to withdraw.

How composed, mature and efficient, and what a contradiction to the western concept of mistresses as glamorous, decadent, other; latter-day clever, self-serving Madame Pompadours who loll around in baby-doll negligees being tempestuous and eating bonbons.

Mistress Dispeller makes the mistress sound like something requiring dreary routine relationship admin, perhaps with a mild element of pest-control: “We have a mistress in our relationship, could you please see that she is removed as quickly as possible”. If the Mistress Dispeller service-industry catches on here, it could spell the end for affairs. Being considered a hussy is one thing; an infestation, quite another.

Just as it’s announced that the slimming jab medication Mounjaro is set to triple in price when bought privately (to around £330 a month), businesswoman and The Apprentice judge Karren Brady is under fire for looking different.

When I say “different”, in photos, Brady appears drastically slimmed down (she denies jabbing). While no one is suggesting the images are filtered – she resembles a young Jane Seymour double-dipped in crème brûlée.

Brady also rhapsodises about Exion, a skin-tightening treatment that has transformed her arms. “I never thought I’d have the confidence to wear short sleeves again”, trills Baroness Brady, estimated net worth: £93m.

Some have criticised her for degrading her businesswoman credentials, but is this antifeminist in itself? Brady has always done big-haired corporate glamour. Oprah Winfrey, worth an estimated $3.1bn (£2.4bn) by Forbes, isn’t defined by her yo-yo-ing weight. Serena Williams’ recent announcement that she lost 14kg using GLP-1 medication – brands include Ozempic and Mounjaro – hasn’t cancelled out her tennis accomplishments. Whatever you make of her glow-up, Brady’s business acumen isn’t index-linked to her appearance.

Photograph by Dave Hogan/Getty