‘I saw the Melania film four times on opening day. Did anyone else?’

The most expensive documentary ever. Amazon paid $40m (£29m), of which the first lady pocketed just less than $30m. The streaming service then spent another a further $35m marketing the film. But was this money in vain? Is anyone going to watch it? Critics suggest it was obvious this was never going to be a box office hit, but that was never the point.

I went to four cinemas across London to find out who is buying tickets, and why.

First stop: Vue in Westfield, west London, for the noon showing. Once I found the entrance to the shopping centre – which is apparently a fortress – I joined seven others just as the film began with the first lady and her team of stylists, in her very gold New York City penthouse, meticulously planning her outfits for President Trump’s second inauguration.

My mission to see the film four times in a day meant no sitting down to watch it in full. I sheepishly walked out after 20 minutes and went on my way.

Next, I scouted out the other Shepherd’s Bush Vue, where I met Adam Gotch, an ex-researcher for BBC Newsnight. As I walked into the cinema, I noticed a familiar face: Jamie, a friend I met when I was studying journalism. We exchanged a knowing look, both having been sent on the same mission. As we caught up, a woman sitting nearby chipped in and said, “I’m also here as a journalist, to review the film!”

With a grand total of six people in the cinema – 50% of them journalists – it became clear that perhaps newsrooms are more enamoured with the story than the general public.

Gotch was there with his son or grandson. He was reluctant to say which because, as it became clear, the young man did not want to be documented seeing the film. Gotch said he’d been motivated by disbelief at how much money companies were prepared to fork out to get in “Trump’s good books”. He condemned the film, saying it’s “undermining all independent filmmakers”. There are “so many different films to make”, he continued, but “the cinema system has been taken over and now we’re just watching rubbish.”

I left and trekked south west to Wandsworth Cineworld for my third viewing. I slipped in at the back and sat next to Katya, who was, to my surprise, a big Melania fan. She glowed about the first lady saying, “I just adore her. She’s a stunning lady who is doing a very good job for all of the world.”

‘She was like us – a simple person, a normal girl… And now she’s made it big’Katya, cinema goerKatya, a local who moved to the UK 15 years ago from Poland, said it was Melania’s relatability she loved. “She was like us – a simple person, a normal girl from the east of Europe,” she said proudly. “And now she’s made it big.”

I pondered this as I made my way up to north London. As much as I had disliked the film, for some people Melania was something of an inspiration. I was puzzled, as I thought her work as first lady had been almost laughable, most evident in meetings with Brigitte Macron and the Queen of Jordan, where Melania vaguely explained how she is helping children and tackling cyber bullying.

David, an accountant at the Islington screening, felt similarly distrustful. He struggled to articulate it: “Is this a real film or is it propaganda or is it a bribe?” Still, he said it was intrigue – and Melania’s classy, stylish nature – that led him and his girlfriend to see the film at 6pm on a rainy Friday.

He defended his decision by saying “they’ve already been paid all the money”, adding, “I don’t think us using our Club Lloyds free tickets are really gonna make any financial impact.”

Knowing I’d already seen the film three times, he asked about her famous inauguration hat. “That’s gotta be in the film; if it’s not central, that will be a big disappointment.”

Sadly (spoiler alert), David would leave Vue dissatisfied. The hat is mentioned only in fittings, dismissed as a fashion choice.

It’s fair to say people weren’t racing to buy tickets for the opening day of Melania’s debut. While I wouldn’t recommend it – and certainly wouldn’t recommend watching it four times – there is something intriguing about the woman behind President Trump. As David put it, “I think she’s got an interesting story to tell.” Sadly, the most expensive documentary ever told us nothing of that story.

Photograph by Andy Hall / The Observer