My grandmother – we grandchildren call her Amama – was such a tender, warm and generous person, with a wonderful sense of humour.
I always remember thinking she was so cool; she had a young and energetic spirit and was very stylish. We were great friends and had so much fun together. We loved to go out to a restaurant or the cinema together, and we’d drive around with her car roof down singing along to the latest music.
She was such an amazing grandmother to all my siblings and cousins, and such a special person to so many people. Whenever we weren’t together we loved texting. I felt I could tell her anything; she always wanted to hear what was going on in my life and she could tell just by looking at me how things were actually going.
There is no doubt that Amama wanted to use the platform she had in life to help make the world a better place, and to help people who were in need. There were so many causes she supported throughout her life, such as Unicef and the Samaritans, Macmillan Cancer Research and the Passage, but eventually music was her great calling.
She loved teaching music in Hull and went on to set up the Future Talent charity to use music as a vehicle for change and a way to help young people. She believed so much in the power of music to transform lives.
Amama paved her own way and followed her heart, a great example being her choice to follow the path of conversion to Catholicism and a strong sense of faith.
I am proud of her honesty in broaching topics that weren’t often spoken about at the time, such as miscarriage and the pain of losing a child. I so admired her ability to empathise and connect with people’s suffering, and I think that’s likely informed by difficult experiences she went through herself.
As fate would have it my fiance, Nico Macauley, is from a village in North Yorkshire and Amama is from the village next door. It means so much to me that they got to meet – amid chatting we discovered, amazingly, that she used to go to dancing classes in Nico’s village as a girl. We happened to get engaged on my grandparents’ wedding anniversary, and it was magical to be able to share that as they were married in Yorkshire. My grandmother was so proud of her Yorkshire roots and often called herself a Yorkshire lass.
When Amama died it was profoundly moving to hear all the beautiful stories people shared about ways in which she’d touched their lives. I know that was a source of great comfort for my family in a time of mourning.
Stoicism has historically been applauded, but I think tenderness with one another is really underrated, and Amama was a great example of that.
During the homily at her funeral, there was a quote that she had said to the bishop that stood out to me: “I have learnt that tears and smiles walk side by side.” I hadn’t heard that before but it moved me to tears as I thought it was quintessential Amama.
I’ll miss her very much, her giggles, her hugs, her sense of mischief, her huge heart. She will live on and be always cherished through my wonderful Apapa, our family, friends, Future Talent, and the many beautiful and loving imprints she left on the world.