Harriet Harman: 'If you’re asking people to vote for you, you owe it to them to show who you are'

All my childhood memories are of my three sisters. We argued constantly, but we were very close and still are. When things were going well with them, all was right with the world. When it wasn’t, it was terrible.

My father didn’t encourage Mum’s ambitions. He wanted dinner on the table. Mum trained in law, then left to become a housewife; occasionally she would wistfully remark that the women she studied with who hadn’t married had become judges.

Progressive views were subliminally fed to me from a young age. My mother wanted us to have a good education and didn’t believe men were more important than women. My father, meanwhile, had a dim view of the reliability of any future husband and thought it best I generate my own income.

Representative politics is not a private activity. If you’re asking people to vote for you, you owe it to them to show who you are and what you’re about.

For the first decades of my career, the House of Commons was 97% male. There were few women in Westminster bringing up children; I didn’t have a peer group. Now, there are more mothers and fantastic solidarity. You get the same discussion in the division lobby as you do at the school gates.

When you’re trying to stop terrible injustices, there’s always a culture of excuses from those in power. Colleagues often urged me to move on from these fights, but if I’d taken that advice, I’d never have got anything done.

I’ve got Keir Starmer’s back. Having been close to a couple of prime ministers, I know the job is harder than it looks. Being PM is like ice skating – it looks very smooth, but it’s highly slippery.

Be the age you are and own it. Your worth doesn’t depend on sexual attractiveness. You’re not better or worse, whether you are 25 or 75, just different. Freeing ourselves from the quest of looking younger is fundamental to real liberation.

Post-ambition politics is relaxing because responsibility has been lifted from my shoulders. I don’t have to worry about being appointed in a reshuffle or competing with anyone. I used to dread missing a meeting. Now it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I did.

Nigel Farage stokes concerns, but ultimately he makes false promises and offers easy answers instead of real solutions. He is a successful disruptor, but that’s very different to being trusted to run the country.

Every weekend I cook for my family. Hard-pressed parents like my children can do with a meal being served, the washing done, the kids bathed and put in their pyjamas. My shelves are groaning with Nigella Lawson books, my signature dish is anything by her.

I’ve transitioned from a guilt-ridden mother into a guilt-ridden grandmother. For years, I’d judge myself against mums who were more energetic or more able to connect with their children. Now I’m still exactly the same with my grandkids. I wonder if I’m getting the right birthday presents, playing the right games. Looking after them is exhausting, but brilliant.

Look forward, not back. I spend no time thinking about my achievements or my disasters. I don’t get bogged down with what’s happened, but then I probably don’t learn many lessons as I should.

Harriet Harman co-hosts the Sky News podcast Electoral Dysfunction. Tickets for the live show at Cadogan Hall in London on 20 May are now on sale (aegpresents.co.uk)

Photograph by Clare Hewitt