Back when I used to sleep really well, I remember reading an interview where someone was asked, “What keeps you awake at night?” I thought, “What a strange question.” How smug I was. These days I could give you a full inventory: overflowing inboxes, deadlines, the economy and a creeping sense I’ve forgotten something vaguely catastrophic, like not taking the bins out on bin day. These are the things that play havoc with my “beauty sleep”.
I used to think the term came from a 1950s women’s magazine. But no. In the 1828 book Herbert Milton, the author Charles White wrote: “[The party] was attended principally by married women, who, if they had daughters out, generally took this opportunity of sending them to seek beauty sleep in bed before 10 o’clock.” Sleep was – and still is – deeply gendered. Women were instructed to sleep lest they lose their looks, men simply slept. Today, women are still told that looking “rested” is part of looking good. (Incidentally, to look “rested” is why many women get Botox.)
The irony is that sleep really is the best beauty treatment going. During deep sleep, the body repairs itself: collagen production ramps up, stress hormones drop, the blood flow to the skin increases... Try telling that to a population who take their phones to bed like a form of emotional support. We lie in the blue glow of Instagram, watching others perform self-care rituals we’re too tired to attempt. We track our sleep with apps, which then inform us – with brutal detachment – that we’ve slept badly. As if we didn’t already know. Insomnia, once the glamorous affliction of tortured poets, is now a national condition.
And so the vicious circle continues: anxious about sleep, unable to sleep, buying more things to help us sleep. Beauty brands have turned it into an industry. The “sleep economy” is booming: serums and concealers that mimic eight hours, overnight masks that work while you snooze, silk pillowcases to prevent dehydrated skin, oils, sprays and supplements – Diome is a good one – to coax us into slumber. We can’t sleep, so we consume sleep-adjacent products.
And you know what? I’m not immune. Needs must. I swear by Estée Lauder’s Advanced Night Repair range. When I feel as if I need a new face, QMS’s Epigen Protect Overnight Foam Mask delivers. I will not sleep without a silk pillowcase from Slip or Silke, and in the morning, concealers from the likes of Nars, Kosas, Chanel, Charlotte Tilbury and Pat McGrath are my badge of honour. Still, is all this simply a symptom of our collective exhaustion? Imagine the luxury of rest without measuring, masking, or monetising it. To close our eyes without thinking of how we’ll look in the morning. Hmm. We can but dream.
On my radar: Magical patches, classic lippy, mini masterpieces
Spritz cracker: There are perfume bottles, and then there are Bottega Veneta bottles, aka sculptural masterpieces. The full-sized versions come perched on marble bases, practically begging to be displayed. The refillable travel set offers the same sophistication, minus the weightlifting. Housed in a chic intrecciato case that comes in three colours, it’s so beautiful you’ll look for excuses to spritz in public. Bottega Travel Spray, £260, Bottega Veneta
Patch pitch: I don’t buy into wellness fads, but if something promises results with zero effort, I’m first in line. Enter What’s That Patch: seven clever little transdermal patches that blend Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine with modern science to support your body’s rhythm and deal with everything from stress to productivity. What’s That Patch, £19, Healf
Lip service: Sometimes you just want a classic lipstick; no shimmer, no gimmicks, not too matte, not too glossy. Jones Road’s 12-shade lineup nails that. Think creamy texture, zero creasing and pigment that stays put. It’s lipstick that makes you feel like you’ve got your life together, even if you can’t decide what to wear. Jones Road Lipstick, £30, Jones Road Beauty