What to read to understand dating

Slow Days, Fast Company: The World, the Flesh, and LA by Eve Babitz (1977)

The good thing about dating is you always get a story out of it. And no one knows that better than Eve Babitz. Addressed to an unnamed male companion, Slow Days, Fast Company follows party girl Babitz from one ambivalent attachment to another, through a desirous entanglement with a gay man, multiple threesomes, late-night dinners where they barely eat anything, and long drives. She meets with artists, rock stars, surfers, and men who are most often around for a fun time, not a long time, but no less important because of it.

Women in Love by DH Lawrence (1920)

Love is a battleground. You meet this other person and care about them so much that they have an enormous capacity to hurt you, to lie and cheat and leave you brokenhearted. In wanting you they threaten to swallow you up. In Women in Love, which is set against a world ravaged by war, the Brangwen sisters are wondering whether or not to marry, and don’t so much flirt with their suitors as argue with them. All the characters are emotionally frayed, wanting love but terrified of it.

I Want You to Be Happy by Jem Calder (2026)

It’s a familiar story. A man who doesn’t know how to express his emotions re-enters the dating scene before he’s over his ex. He meets a younger woman, rushes their connection, over promises. He’s got a drinking problem and commitment issues. It’s a story you’ve heard a thousand times, but in this debut novel you see the thought processes on both sides laid painstakingly bare. You understand how he might end up this way, and why she might accept it. This book made me angry. Some people really do always land on their feet. The world of dating is so unfair.

The Project by Annie Lord is published by Harvill (£16.99). Order a copy from The Observer Shop for £14.44 (15% of RRP). Delivery charges may apply

Photograph by Classic Picture Library/Alamy