I’m not just a shark. I’m a whitetip reef shark. And I’m not being pedantic. I happen to be different from the other 500 species of shark and I don’t want to be lumped in with the rest. How would a human like to be referred to as just another dry-nose primate?
Monday
Talking of humans, I saw one as I got up early for the night’s work on the Great Barrier Reef. It swam off like the clappers. No doubt it’ll tell fine tales of its narrow escape from a monster when it gets back to its rightful place on land. Humans! Give me a nice octopus any day.
Tuesday
Night fell and I was out of my hole and looking for food: fish, crustaceans, that sort of thing. Look on my teeth as tools rather than weapons. Embedded in gums, not bones, they move like a conveyor belt and I get new ones every week. I’ve already got through thousands. Fish are mostly quiet and still at night and I hunt them out by tingling. I can sense the faintest hint of the electricity that comes from living things: I close in on it and that’s breakfast sorted. That sense of crackling proximity: welcome to my world.
There was a female with the most elegantly claspable pectoral fins: I hope we’ll meet again when the time is right. So long as she doesn’t get killed by humans
There was a female with the most elegantly claspable pectoral fins: I hope we’ll meet again when the time is right. So long as she doesn’t get killed by humans
Wednesday
Of us 500-odd shark species, do you know how many have made an unprovoked attack on a human? Four. Yet humans think we’re all the same and they kill us in huge numbers because we haunt their imaginations. They’d do better to delight in our diversity as I might delight in the diversity of dry-nose primates – hundreds of them, including tarsiers, mandrills, orang-utans and humans.
Thursday
All right, I did once come close to biting a human. This spear-fisher had just caught a nice fat wriggling fish. I came steaming in and nicked the fish, and maybe the fisher got a scratch or two. Serves it right for coming into my place and killing my fish. Whose reef is it anyway?
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Friday
A good night’s work. Hunting in company is always rewarding, and I don’t just mean food. There was a female with the most elegantly claspable pectoral fins: I hope we’ll meet again when the time is right. So long as she doesn’t get killed by humans. They kill us sharks so that humans won’t be afraid to swim; they kill us for our meat and they kill us so they can make soup from our fins: they take us from the water, slice off our fins with a red-hot knife and chuck us back to die.
Saturday
Sorry, I’m getting a bit strident. But do the maths: every year, five to 10 humans are killed in unprovoked shark attacks. Every year, 100m sharks are killed in unprovoked human attacks. Who’s the monster?
Whitetip reef shark CV
Lifespan males 15 years or so, females a little longer
Eating habits fish, please. No humans – we’re whitetips
Hobbies tingling and crackling
Sexual preferences sweptback pecs