Some may wonder what reaction there may be to their death; others are treated to a preview. Country music legend Dolly Parton just had to put out a video calming people down about her alleged imminent demise. Parton, 79, postponed some high-profile events, but the touchpaper for public concern was her sister, going online and asking people to “pray for Dolly”. Cue Parton, gloriously garbed in Grand Ole Opry regalia, talking about the recent passing of her husband, and needing to attend to her long-neglected health matters, but adamant: “I ain’t ready to die yet!”
It’s a twist on the recurring phenomenon of the celebrity death hoax. The most infamous is “Paul is dead”, which claimed the real Paul McCartney died in the 1960s and was replaced by someone else who thought recording Mull of Kintyre was a good idea. Others pronounced “deceased” by the bloodthirsty internet include: Tom Cruise (plumbing accident); George Clooney (plane crash); Brad Pitt (shot); and Russell Crowe (fell off a mountain).
Maybe the latest panic says more about Parton. Worth an estimated $650m, the tasselled country queen is famously philanthropic: starting child literacy drives, donating to hospital units, helping fund development of the Moderna coronavirus vaccine, and more. The likes of Parton are living antidotes to this Trumpian era of self-interest: proving that filthy rich doesn’t have to cancel out decent. Get well soon, Dolly, the world isn’t ready to lose you yet.
Snap to it, parents: Hamleys toy store just released its annual list of “hot” Christmas toys. There are Ty bouncers (£7) – squashy things that bounce – and “food toys” (about £12): plush pretzels, watermelons, and the like. Surprisingly, no cuddly Ozempic syringe, but give it time.
Hot festive toys fill parents with dread. One December, in FAO Schwarz in New York (where Tom Hanks danced on the piano in the film Big), I remember pushing and shoving through a crazed scrum to grab the last Furby (electronic creature with candy-coloured fur, giant eyes and a beak). Every parent knows that if your child wants a “hot” toy, you, Santa or Amazon better deliver.
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The Hamleys list also reflects the trend for “newstalgia”, including: a robotic Woody from Toy Story (£80); a Peppa Pig (£13); and a Star Wars Power Crystal Lightsaber (£40).
Older people are buying toys that remind them of their own childhoods. Could this be a form of generational narcissism: a way of ensuring your culture remains the culture? Or is it like holding on to Monopoly, Ludo, Lego – a reframing of what “traditional” means?
An invasion of ladybirds in some parts of the UK is being put down to the world getting hotter. Also to the British red seven-spot ladybird being increasingly joined by the American Harlequin ladybug (orangey-red; more spots). Some experts say ladybirds are just being noticed more because they come into homes to hibernate. But some people say they feel “swarmed”.
We should all be aware of climate change, but “swarmed” … by ladybirds? If you want rid, put citrus or mint on your windowsill, or garlic – they will stay away like tiny polka dot vampires. But why would you want them to?
Ladybirds are only insects to zap with gardening spray if you have no soul. They’re beyond beautiful, they’re childhood. When I was little, I thought they were from the fairy world.
Stretches of time would pass lying on grass letting them amble from one finger to another.
My “child within” refuses to find ladybirds, swarming or otherwise, anything but enchanting. Where is David Attenborough when you need him?
Photograph by YouTube
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