The early England World Cup themes: brotherhood and suffering

There are easily recognisable rhythms to England at major tournaments; the initial stampede of interest that fades into faux nonchalance, then hype and hope and heartbreak, each different and yet somehow grimmer and more humiliating. But this bit, here, is the nether zone. Demand for content: feverish, and rising. Supply of content: perilously low. No meaningful football has been played since last November, and won’t be for another 10 days. The squad was announced two weeks ago, although the squad numbers were announced on Tuesday. Is there something there? England’s five greatest No 23s? How Anthony Gordon can make the 18 shirt his own?

Training sessions are being described in such excruciating detail it would bore even the most meticulous coach. Dan Burn and John Stones have participated in something called “Slang Wars”. A 15-minute video of the players arriving either for their flights or in Miami – technically the pre-base camp – was viewed 750,000 times in its first 48 hours on YouTube.

And what did that high-end piece of FA-approved reportage teach us? There seems to be an inverse correlation between how many major tournaments you’ve played at and how much luggage you bring with you – Nico O’Reilly had three large suitcases! Unsurprisingly, Jude Bellingham is an elite handshaker; liquid connection, alpha grip.

Anyway, here’s pretending that our England content is weightier and different. Thomas Tuchel’s key tournament buzzwords – every manager has them – so far have been “brotherhood” and “suffering”. Brotherhood is really just the inevitable successor to Inflatable Unicorn-ism, a fresh unity after the weirdness of Euro 2024. With no meaningful club tensions and Jordan Henderson around as a specialist padel partner, this shouldn’t be difficult.

Suffering is more interesting, if only because a major tournament without suffering is unimaginable. But it exposes Tuchel’s belief in confronting English repression, in saying the unspoken thing. When he was first hired he called it “very important” that the players were open about their desire to win the World Cup. And of course it is also going to be hot and humid and hard. Seven potential starters have already played over 4,000 minutes this season. Between first reaching Kansas City and returning after the groups, players will fly more than once every three days.

And so much of the early focus is on England’s newfound “scientific method”, seemingly insinuating that Gareth Southgate’s lot were just winging it. A popular fitness wearable is getting a lot of free advertising, as though England’s greatest flaw to date has been the ignorance of sleep scores. Players were told to holiday in similar time zones to the camp, so Harry Kane had the hardship of a fortnight in the Bahamas. This tournament might be the ideal intersection of the two great English small-talk fodders: football and weather.

Of course, none of this passes the pub test, so what should we actually expect? For all we have heard this before, England unquestionably have a squad capable of winning. Harry Kane is the world’s best striker, Declan Rice the best central midfielder, Reece James the best right-back. Bukayo Saka and Jude Bellingham are both among the top five in their respective positions, Marc Guehi and Nico O’Reilly the top 10. Barcelona have just spent £70m on Anthony Gordon, Elliot Anderson and Morgan Rogers both likely to exceed that figure this summer. Jordan Pickford might be England’s best goalkeeper since Gordon Banks. If World Cups are won by defensive stability and individual attacking excellence, this team has the constituent parts to provide that.

And then there’s Tuchel. Bar the odd wrong word in his second language and two anaesthetic games against Andorra, he’s done basically everything right so far. He isn’t going to do the Dear England thing, has no strong views on the future of the nation’s lost boys. But he appears totally consumed by the pursuit of this World Cup, planning so obsessively that you question how he will react when inevitably something goes wrong that he hasn’t prepared for, an eventuality he has not considered emerges. This is his squad, his mission, seemingly all he has thought about for 18 months.

It is time for the nation to join him in that obsession, to care about Slang Wars, and saunas, and suffering.

Photograph by Eddie Keogh / The FA via Getty Images